 The stranger asks: | |  The author answers: |
You’re a novelist? Have you published anything? | > | You’re a surgeon? Have you ever operated on anyone? |
Have you written anything I might have read? | > | Do you read novels? |
Um…. | > | Then, no. |
Any bestsellers? | > | I read a couple every year. Still haven’t figured out the formula. |
Literature or fiction? | > | Yes. |
Any of your novels made into movies? | > | Only in my nightmares. |
Who do you get compared to, as a writer? | > | My brother compares me to a volcano of repressed anger. My therapist doesn’t disagree. |
So self publishing, how difficult is that? | > | It’s a challenge, from what I can tell. I am not self published. |
You have a publisher? how did that happen? | > | I wrote a proposal and a first chapter. My agent tapped the right editor on the shoulder, the publisher bought it, and that started the ball rolling. |
You have an agent? how did that happen? | > | I wrote a lot of letters and talked to a lot of people and had a really good proposal and first chapter. |
Could you introduce me to your editor, publisher, agent? | > | Wait, you write fiction? |
I plan to give it six weeks. That should do it. | > | Now that’s a coincidence. I was planning on learning how to take out an appendix this summer. |
That’s a no to the agent, editor, publisher intro? | > | Technically it’s a no, no, no. |
So you’re writing a novel now? | > | Are you still practicing medicine? |
What are your novels about? Any good reviews? | > | Funny you should ask. I’m wondering what kind of surgery you do and how your patients evaluate you. |
You are tough. | > | Yes, I’m a published novelist. |
So when is your next novel coming out? | > | About six to ten months after I finish it. |
Really? So what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at home working? When will it ever be finished, the way you slack off? | > | Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch’intrate. |
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