I am taking dictation from the Girlchild:
It’s weird being seventeen. There’s so much to happen that you don’t know what’s going to happen. It’s right on the edge of home and not home. And decisions and not making decisions. Teenagers are funnier than adults. We laugh more. We’re allowed to laugh more. There’s more stuff for us to do. We can still go trick or treating if we really want to. We don’t have as much to regret. We don’t have as much as we feel we missed out on. Unless you’re one of those teenagers who worries a lot that you will miss out. Like me. Teenagers are really attractive. We are at the peak of our attractiveness in our lives. Everyone knows that. Is this the first paragraph in your young adult novel, mom? You didn’t write that. Uh. (laughter). What did you write? (laughter). Silly. You did this before when I did not say silly I said you’re silly. I am not a grandmother I do not just exclaim silly.
You did this before in NY, when we were in NY. Because my feet hurt and I was running around the room saying my feet hurt and you were writing it all down because I’m rather hilarious.
I think COLLEGE is the peak of attractiveness. I think high for girls and college for guys, because college guys are much more attractive than high school guys. Can you actually respond to what I’m saying instead of just typing?
Guys hit their peak later. Why is that? Why isn’t it at the same time? Mother?
Is nature sexist?
Why are you laughing? Obviously it is. Don’t you think?
–It doesn’t have a consciousness.
You’re obsessed with this consciousness thing. You use it as an excuse for everything. The insect thing. Now you’re using it for an excuse for whatever we’re talking about now that I can’t remember. Right! Nature. Nature is sexist. Wouldn’t you agree?
Mom you can’t use your consciousness thing. That is not a valid argument. If nature did have a consciousness wouldn’t it be sexist?
Mom! Answer the question.
My friends would not be so difficult about this. We’d have an interesting discussion. That’s why teenagers are better than old people.
–You’re calling me old?
–Yes nature is sexist because nature is concerned with propagation and progagation has to do with the differentiation of the sexes so nature–
But that’s not my point. Guys get everythign better. Taller. More athletic. More sexual. Aren’t they more intelligent?
–This is what’s wrong with–
But they are more athletic and the other stuff. Why would intelligence be necessary. Where does that come in? Why would it necessary for females to have intelligence? It seems like nature just wants women to lay around having children and cooking. Nature is sexist, see? I guess you have to be intelligent to raise children. But then wouldn’t it be scientific intelligence, it would be nurturing. Type faster! I’m such a superior typer to you. How did that happen? One parent types 80 words a minute, the other parent won’t even time his typing and they produce a child who types 128 words a minute. How does that happen? That like if one parent is 5’1 and another parent’ is 5’2 and they have a 6’7″ kid. I’m so amazing, I’m 6’7″. Is that a genetic mutation? Do I have a genetic mutation for typing? But then how does that happen?
–It’s a question for the ages.