The Universal Grandma: My Vote

1. I have a cold. The kind of cold that you can’t ignore. Sore throat, voice gone, constant sneezing, small green very heavy gremlin sitting on my chest snickering at me, blah blah blah. But to focus on the positive: neither the Mathematician nor the Girlchild have this cold. Which is very good, because otherwise I’d have to jump out of a window.

My suggestion: we need universal health care, yes, absolutely. But in the meantime could we maybe get universal grandmas? When you’re sick one of them comes to your house to make you tea and cluck sympathetically and sit by your bedside reading bits from the paper out loud and ask how things came to such a sorry pass and here, dear, a clean handkerchief scented with lavender. And when you’re better, when you get up finally, the house is spotlessly clean, nothing out of order, every dish put away. A meal on the stove. Cherry Garcia in the freezer. I vote for universal grandmas.

2. Somehow I messed up my email. I was just trying to organize it. Because really, why clog up the harddrive with three year old emails reminding me that I’m supposed to bring a salad to somebody’s birthday party, or that the book I wanted was out of stock, or look, a cute picture of a dog. Okay, so the cute picture I held on to, but really. So I’m going about my business sorting through, deleting, and next thing you know, everything is screwy. This does not help my headache. When I finally have things working again (I think) I notice that a lot of email that shouldn’t have been deleted has fled the computer. General panic in the face of possible extinction? Who knows. But those emails I actually needed and they are gone.

You know if I had a universal grandma here, I wouldn’t have tried to fix the email settings. I’d have been very busy being taken care of.

3. Dogs are good. Because while they can’t make tea or clean up the kitchen and in fact given the chance they will steal your Cherry Garcia (if you had any) they also cuddle up to you when you’re feeling bad and never once worry that they’re going to catch what you’ve got. Because doggy love is unconditional.

4. I am so so so so close to finishing this novel. And now I have a headache and that gremlin thing and I can’t concentrate.

5. Aaaaargh.