We are not religious creatures. The winter solstice is something I look forward to, but otherwise it’s all very quiet here out in the countryside. Empty nesting until early January, so it’s just the two of us. And two dogs. And a rambunctious cat. From a FaceBook post by Perfecto and the language is cat.
Lynn Viehl is one of the few people who can make me laugh out loud with her blog posts. An excellent example is her Ten Things I Hate About Your Antagonist.
Five words sum up the antagonist’s ambitions: “I will destroy the world.”
Oh yeah? Here’s seven more: Afterward, where are you going to live?
I’ve been lecturing myself about speed. Sometimes (a lot of the time) writing lollygags along, which can be so frustrating when you really need and want to finish something. At the same time, trying to force it is usually disasterous (ask me how I know this). Then last night I had a dream about George Calin. We went to see him in concert when I turned thirty, lo those twenty some years ago, and in this dream we were back in that theater and he was pacing up and down the stage, wearing all black, his hair in a ponytail.
And he looks up at me, right at me, and he bellows:
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? So how do you (pointing at me) manage to be both at the same time?”
I think this was my father wearing a George Carlin mask. The two of them had a lot in common, that rough-edged humor thing. If my father were here right now, he’d tell me to stop fooling around, and get back to work. Which I will.
Because after a day like today, a laugh is worth a great deal:
Teen cashier: I’ll need to see some ID.
Female shopper: Ok, here you go.
Teen cashier: [Looks at woman’s driver’s license.] Oh wow, so you’re an organ donor?
Female shopper: Yes.
Teen cashier: Oh my god! Which organ did you donate?
–Trader Joe’s, Union Square Overheard by: rko
Which reminds me of Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life (via wikiquote):[Mr Brown answers the door of his home to find two men dressed in white labcoats.] Labcoat #1: Hello. Uh… Can we have your liver?
Mr Brown: What?
Labcoat #1: Your liver. It’s a large, uh… glandular organ in your abdomen.
[Mr Brown just stares at the labcoated men.] Labcoat #1: You know, it’s, uh… it’s reddish-brown; it’s sort of, uh…
Mr Brown: Yeah, y-yeah, I know what it is, but… I’m using it! I…
[The labcoated men push into the house. The second man holds Mr Brown against the wall.] Labcoat #2: Go on, sir! Don’t muck us up, now!
[The first labcoated man searches him and pulls out a card.] Labcoat #1: Hel-lo! What’s this, then?
Mr Brown: A liver donor’s card.
Labcoat #1: Need we say more?
Labcoat #2: No!
Mr Brown: Listen! I can’t give it to you now. It says, ‘in the event of death’. Uh. Oh! Ah. Ah. Eh.
Labcoat #1: No one who has ever had their liver taken out by us has survived.
Mr Brown: Agh.