Beff's got questions

I read Auntie Beff’s Sum of Me weblog pretty much every day but as she’s got a very particular commenting policy, usually I can’t tell her what I’m thinking. And I do actually think a lot about her, because she’s got an interesting life and way of looking at things.

And now she’s come over here to ask questions, so my dilemma is solved. Here are the answers.

What was the other anxiety dream?

I’ll save that for a bedtime story. Mwahhahahaha.

How’s the writing going?

It could be going better. There’s something missing, something to tie the story together. I think I maybe might have an idea, which I am going to work on today. But I can’t talk about this until it’s solved, so later.

Should I ever speak to my mother again?

I’m actually glad you asked this.

You know you’re never going to change her, right? She is who she is, and she gives you what she gives you (or doesn’t). If you can take her at face value, you can probably have a cordial relationship. I imagine at this point your anger and disappointment and hurt are overwhelming, so logical decisions are hard. Here’s something my therapist told me twenty years ago that I still think about: you can define yourself, your history, your needs and wants, or you can let person X do all that for you. But person X’s you and your you are never going to be the same person. If you can’t be comfortable with person X’s version of you, you might well be better off stepping away.

I haven’t spoken to my person x in those twenty years. I think about her sometimes. Not so much anger now, but a clearer set of emotions. There’s a little regret mixed in, but mostly I know it was the right thing to do. Now, this is not my mother I’m talking about, but it’s a blood relative who claimed responsibility for raising me, so the parallel is pretty strong.

It’s a shitty situation, Auntie Beff. If I were closer I’d make you quiche (see below) and pat your head and listen while you talked. I’m sorry I’m not.

Do you have any good recipes for quiche?

You know quiche is just savory custard, right? Eggs and cream beat up and poured into a pastry shell. You can add anything that isn’t so wet that it disturbs the egg/cream ratio. Cheese is the usual (and to my mind, indispensible) but you can add any kind of vegetable (precooked if it’s something knotty), fruit, meat, fish. Salt, pepper, toy cars, whatever. The golden ratio is 4-5 eggs per pint of cream. You can use half and half, and your arteries will thank you.
Oh and, bake the pastry shell before you put the custard ingredients into it. Seal it with egg white, or you’ll get a soggy crust.

Who invented liquid soap and why?

A little known fact: Liquid soap was invented by a Mrs. Hortense Cole of Walla Walla, Washington. When asked what the original purpose intended for her slippery concoction, Mrs. Cole blushed and shut the door in this reporter’s face.

Tags: dreamstherapy