winter solstice is coming, and a present for you

This post is 1 year old.

axial-tiltI came across some older notes on metaphor, and I had an idea for a little Solstice contest.

We don’t celebrate any religious holidays, but that axial tilt thing does make us  howl at the moon and so I’m going to give something away.  Before I get to the contest, I need to refresh your memory about metaphor:

A metaphor is a figure of speech which makes an implicit, implied or hidden comparison between two things or objects that are different, but have some characteristics in common. That is,  a word for one idea or thing is used in place of another word to suggest a likeness between them. Metaphor is a non-literal comparison, and can be simple or very complex and drawn out.

One Thing  Another Thing   Example  Source
friend  chaos Chaos is a friend of mine.   Bob Dylan 
bed  taxi A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.  Groucho Marx
conscience compass Conscience is a man’s compass.   Vincent Van Gogh
advertising stick Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket. George Orwell
passive voice customer The passive voice as a shady customer. Jan Freeman
 you  dog You ain’t nothing but a hound dog. Elvis Presley
you diamond Shine on, you crazy diamond. Pink Floyd
 joke politician I don’t approve of political jokes; I’ve seen too many of them get elected.   Jon Stewart
“Metaphors get under your skin by ghosting right past the logical mind.” –Jane Hirschfeld
Implied metaphor compares two unlike things, but it does so without mentioning one of them. The comparison is implied or suggested by using a word or phrase that describes the unmentioned term. Examples:

  • Don’t bark at me like that, you’re frightening the children. (you = mad dog)
  • Let’s put lipstick on this pig. (ugly/poor object = needs beautification) From Investment Banking for Dummies

For comparison’s sake, a couple similes, where the comparison is more direct (often using ‘like’ or ‘as’): 

One Thing  Another Thing   Example  Source
people inanimate objects I would track immigrants like FedEx packages.  Chris Christie
 love  beauty My love is like a red, red rose. Robert Burns 
 person worthless creature We’re going to beat [Hillary Clinton] like a rented mule. John McCain 
person oddity of nature There’s not a one of us who isn’t as twisted as a duck’s dick. Lisa Kleypas (Blue Eyed Devil)

So here’s the little contest: Come up with a metaphor or simile — one of your own, or one from a published source (which you must name, if that’s the case) which you find to be humorous. I’ll pick some finalists, and everybody can vote for a favorite. And that person will get a pile of books from me. Which books — depends on the person who wins. But a nice pile of books. So go out and metaphorize.

 Questions? This would be the place to ask them.

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8 thoughts on “winter solstice is coming, and a present for you”

  1. My contribution(s) to your metaphor contest:

    Simile: His menacing advances left her feeling like 007’s martinis — shaken, not stirred.

    Metaphor: There was a serious chink in his armor and its name was Sara.

    Carol B

  2. Politicians are like pre-schoolers. They throw around a lot of inaccurate names but never talk about the real issues.

  3. “One has to be a good bullshit jockey to succeed around here.” -me, at work (bullshit=fast horse)

    “I don’t speak Bullshit” -me, at work (Bullshit=an actual language; some folks’ mother tongue apparently)

    “You definitely want your doctor caffeinated.”-me, at work (doctor=coffee drink)

    “There are tumbleweeds blowing through my internal life.” me, at home after having a bunch of kids and never being able to find a quiet moment (internal life= sad empty town in an old Western movie)

    I may have to post more than once. I love metaphorizing.

  4. I found these pretty quickly earlier and it is in honor of your love of dogs:

    “The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.” It made me giggle. But, so did this one: “She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.”

    Enjoy!!

  5. New one:
    “Why do all the Christmas presents under the tree look like they have been in a bar fight?”-Me, at home, speaking to my 3 kids who spent the afternoon at home with a permissive babysitter who seems not to monitor their shaking and fondling of the wrapped gifts. (presents=people who might go to a bar)

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