.. is my birthday. As I get older birthdays are mostly a matter of confusion. Surely that number can’t be my age.
Albert Schweizer was born on January 14, as were Benedict Arnold and (yes, it’s true) L.L. Cool J. And today is Ratification Day – the U.S. ratified the Treaty of Paris on this day in 1784, thus officially ending the Revolutionary War. Also, on the day I was born Little Richard released Tutti Frutti. This was the man who uttered the immortal line: “It ain’t what you eat, it’s the way how you chew it . . .” (I’ve Got It, recorded 1956, New Orleans). A month later the original Invasion of the Body Snatchers premiered.
In honor of this birthday, I’ll share one of my growing collection of old lady jokes.
Three sisters live together. Anabel age 96, Marie age 94, Loretta age 92.
Marie goes upstairs to take a bath. As she stands there with her toe hovering over the water, she can’t remember what she’s doing. She yells down the stairs: “Am I getting into or out of the bathtub?”
Loretta yells back, “Wait a minute, I’ll come help.” On her way up the stairs, Loretta falters. She yells down “Was I going up or coming down the stairs?”
In the kitchen, Anabel is disgusted. “Thank the Lord my mind is still in good working order.” She raps her knuckles on the table. “Knock on wood.”
“Help!” yells Marie.
“I’ll be right there,” says Anabel. “Just as soon as I see who’s at the door.”