illegal drugs

Here’s an embarrassing confession: I never have. Not once. Not anything. I was a law-and-order kid in (Catholic) high school. At age 17 I had more chance of finding my way to the moon than to a place to buy (pot? grass? what did we call it, anyway.) And I never started drinking because genetically, the way I metabolize alcohol makes me a prime candidate for alcoholism. Lots of family history to support that one.

So now if I need a bump, what do I do? Sugar is the obvious option, but it’s not very effective. Caffeine doesn’t agree with me. Exercise! That does it for a lot of people… I hate it. I can’t remember which one, but some astronaut said that he only had so many heart beats in his life, and he wasn’t wasting any of them on jogging. (And please don’t comment to tell me about the logical fallacy in that statement.)

As an A-type personality I used to daydream about speed. Speed, I was convinced, would be good. I could get more done. I would lose weight. Who needs to sleep anyway? But I’m not so self destructive that I would actually pursue this kind of fantasy.

People tell me how great it is that I’m writing full time. But you know what? I would love to be employed by somebody besides myself. It’s hard always having to motivate yourself. If I play solitaire all day long inspite of a looming deadline, there’s nobody there to poke me into activity. I’ve got to be a grownup all the time. Thus the fantasy (and it is a fantasy, I have no illusions about that) of some perfect drug that would provide that push.

Now I have to get back to work.

8 Replies to “illegal drugs”

  1. You know, I’m 22 and I never did any drugs either. Not even smoked a cigarette! Don’t drink either. As my stepsister said(who was 14 at the time and just announced that she was going to start smoking pot to fit in with her friends), I’m pretty boring. But I like it that way:)

  2. I am a stay at home mom trying to finish my first novel. I get distacted and off track to.
    I have a blog on MySpace and have a section on my own Procrastination habits. I don’t play much solitaire but I do haunt your page quite a bit (I am sure you noticed!) or turn to a good book or my needle work.
    I don’t do drugs (Not that stupid!) but I wish sometimes that I could get a poke when Im not doing what I should be!

  3. I’ve never messed with drugs either – not even a cigarette.

    But I know what you mean about trying to keep motivated. I run my own Wedding Coordinating business, and sometimes find myself seeing the days completely go by without opening a file. Oy!

  4. We have a predisposition for alcholism in our family as well, and while I drink socially, I was always worried that I would like drugs so I never have either.

  5. Even working for someone else wont guarantee that. I am horrible, here I am at work–BLOGGING! I also am and have always been drug free. I need caffine in the morning.

  6. I am slowly trying to control my internet addition. I’ve cancelled my Bloglines subscription and try (some times I succeed) to not read my email before I start to write in the mornings.

  7. For me it has always been reading – a good book will take me right out of my current reality. When I was younger I read obsessively, much more than I interacted with people. I control it better now, but it’s always a temptation. My other escape is choir singing. It gives me a total buzz, and energises me and flings me into a different world which has my total absorption.

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